There is a good chance you have heard about the “Baby Blues.” You may have even experienced it yourself. If so, you are not alone, 80 to 85 percent of mothers experience feelings of sadness in the first few days after having a baby.
This is a perfect example of the way hormonal fluctuations can affect our mood. It happens during day three-to-five postpartum, when there is a sudden sharp drop in the levels of pregnancy hormones, especially estrogen and progesterone.
When you have the Baby Blues, your mood is down, you may be crying over minor inconveniences or concerns or for no apparent reason. You may also feel hopeless.
Luckily, Baby Blues is nothing to worry about as it usually resolves without treatment once hormone levels stabilize.
But motherhood can be challenging and after weeks or months of little sleep, endless feedings and constantly holding the baby while having little time for yourself, you may feel down or even depressed.
Depression during the first year of motherhood and beyond is more common than we would like to think. Between 15 to 30 percent of mothers become clinically depressed and many others often feel down or burnt out. This is especially true if you feel isolated, care for more than one child, have other stressors in your life or have little help.
Although you cannot “snap out of” depression, the following steps will help you in your recovery journey.
1. Talk about it
There is absolutely no shame in feeling depressed. It is not your fault, and you deserve help. If you have a partner, talk to them and ask for their support. Reach out to your doctor or seek help from a registered psychologist. Your doctor may offer you medication. While medication can be helpful, make sure you explore other options as well. Talk to someone who is caring, empathetic and non-judgmental. Too many mothers hide and suffer in silence because they are embarrassed to admit they are not doing well. But the sooner you break your silence, the sooner you will start feeling better.
2. Seek and accept practical help
If you think you “should” be able to handle everything by yourself, think again. We were never meant to raise our children in isolation. As humans, we are wired to live in communities and raise our children together with caring and dedicated others, be it our families, neighbours or friends. Unfortunately, our culture has isolated us, and it may be most evident and painful when we raise young children. So, reach out for practical help. If there are no volunteers, consider hiring help for a limited time. It is likely to be a worthwhile investment in yourself and your family’s wellbeing.
3. Socialize with other moms
Numerous studies have shown that a strong social network can be a buffer against depression, whether mild or more severe. The challenge can be that when people have depression, they tend to socially withdraw. This might start a vicious cycle where depression and social isolation feed each other. To break this cycle, start with small steps by meeting people you are most comfortable with and with whom you do not have to pretend that everything is hunky dory when it is not.
Depression is hard to deal with any time, but it is especially challenging when you have just had a baby and everyone, including yourself, expects you to be happy. You can overcome depression with some help, and you certainly do not need to suffer alone. The sooner you act, the sooner you will feel better.
If you or anyone you know has been struggling with depression and needs someone to talk to, you may wish to contact a Registered Psychologist or your family doctor. You may also receive help from volunteers at the Pacific Postpartum Support Society at 1-855-255-7999. If your call is urgent, you may reach out to The Vancouver Crisis Intervention at 604-872-3311 or go to the nearest emergency room.
